Now that you have an idea of how you automatically listen to others (from Part I), let's see how you can develop a more effective, creative listening to support your networking relationships. The following are listenings you can create in the moment, which will empower you and your prospects.
1. Listening to appreciate what it is like in the other person's world.
If everyone had the same background, interests, income and beliefs, our government and economy would be simple. And we would all work for one huge MLM company. Life would also be terminally boring.
Every prospect is unique. That is what makes them challenging, valuable, and full of possibility. Pay attention to the differences as well as the common ground, and respect the other person's perspective. Not only will you hear new ways you can contribute to your prospect's life, you will learn the special strengths your prospect has to offer.
2. Listening for concerns, commitments and values.
This will provide you with direct access to ways your company can enhance the lives of your prospects.
Listen first, then offer your company's possibilities. Does your prospect prize family time above everything else? Is your prospect worried about environmental, social or political issues? These are examples of core issues, which also relate to time and money. Does your business promote working from home (no polluting commute) with flexible time for family events? If there were enough time and money in the opportunity, would it allow your prospect to volunteer for a favorite charity?
3. Listening for the gold.
Sadly, most people usually listen for the dirt. But what if you approached every conversation believing "everyone has something to contribute to me" different style or viewpoint to expand my mind and experience" How would your conversation be enhanced by your certainty, going in, that gold nuggets were just waiting there for you to find them? Generate this kind of listening (even with people you don't really consider to be particularly powerful or insightful) and I guarantee you will never be disappointed with what you gain from the conversation. Take the attitude that every conversation you have is meant to contribute at least one insight. With this expectation, your listening will be tuned in for, and inevitably begin to attract, something of value every time.
4. Listening for what's at stake (for yourself and for others).
This is a particularly powerful and productive listening. If you have something "at stake" in each conversation, you are sure to come away with much, much more than if you go into the dialogue as a disinterested observer. Think about how you listen to the typical preflight safety instructions routinely given on an airplane before take-off. Would you be more attentive if you were told, mid-flight, that the engines had failed and the plane was going down?
Listening with something at stake will get you infinitely more from your conversations. Likewise, if you listen for what is at stake for others, you will readily know where to direct your conversation to explore how you might contribute to their lives.
As you prospect, listen to what's at stake for the other person: is it their family's survival, the satisfaction they long for in their job, their happiness, or maybe simply the "possibility" of a lifestyle with more time or money?
5. Listening for possibility.
This is perhaps the richest listening of all. Most people tend to quickly rule out possibilities (probably because of listening with resignation). In network marketing, people usually say "No" either from a fear of commitment, or because the possibilities are simply not rich and rewarding enough. If every prospect knew what you know about your opportunity, would they get in and join you?
Of course they would. If that's true, then your job is simply to help prospects explore their possibilities fully, so they can make an informed decision-right? And that gives a whole new possibility to the prospecting conversation. Most people hesitate to look for possibilities, because they fear being obligated to take on more responsibility. First create and then communicate the opportunity for them to look into the possibilities without having to make a commitment to anything other than making an exploration.
When you generate a listening for possibilities, new options open up which naturally help people get past their fears, stops and breakdowns. Often, from a completely unrelated, even "bizarre" idea, a new and exciting possibility appears. The more freedom people experience to explore possibilities, the more opportunities will show up for them in the process.
Here's the key:
Whatever you listen for shapes your reality.
By having the courage to listen proactively and with the expectation of positive results, you will have miracles show up all around you. Nothing positive or negative can show up unless you create the listening for it. And it's a scientific fact, people respond to whatever listening we provide for them.
Recent studies actually show a link between physical health and being listened to. When a person feels listened to, the cilia the microscopic hairlike organs that line the inner ear are stimulated. They trigger the brain to release endorphins, which exert a beneficial physiological effect.
When we generate an expanded, positive listening for others, we literally create a world of new possibilities for them. To generate such a powerful listening only takes your intention to do so, AND recognizing when you are not acting on that intention.
The key to successfully building a large network marketing organization is in your listening. Success begins in the listening you provide for your prospects and the listening you provide for the men and women in your organization. True partnership finds its source in the generation of a powerful listening. This listening is also the basis for the shift in the way networking is and will be conducted in the new millennium.
It no longer works to simply share information. Relationships are now the key. Create a true bond with people. Listen to their concerns and to what's most important in their lives. Contribute. Explore their possibilities. This is what the shift is abou
Dr. Joe Rubino is an internationally acclaimed speaker, author and success coach and the CEO of The Center For Personal Reinvention, www.CenterForPersonalReinvention.com.
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