Welcome aboard! Delighted you have accepted a position as planning analyst with Mega Corp. See you in September, as they say.
We are sorry to learn that your cat Fluffy feels humiliated if her cat carrier is marked "Excess Baggage." Please remember that, in proportion to her size, Fluffy has more room in her carrier than our first class passengers enjoy in their recliner seats.
Anyway, your cats are well known in the airline world. We had to override the Hazardous Cargo Alert to allow Fluffy on board in any capacity.
We're delighted to learn that you will be joining us for your new career. To move your household goods, we contracted with Organization Movers, The owner, Frankie Felon, got his start dealing questionable substances at networking parties in his MBA program.
Frankie's lawyer, Big Tony, assures us Frankie has reformed.
To Organization Moving
From: Maybelle Misfire
I've always wanted to develop an ad campaign on the topic, “Life Without Furniture (not to mention clothing, dishes or sheets)”, and I am deeply grateful to your company for giving me an opportunity to experience this condition while my possessions remain lost somewhere near Delaware. Since both my origin and destination are both west of the Mississippi, I'm glad my furniture will get to see something of the East Coast, even if I don't.
However, my data collection is now approaching redundancy and I am ready to sleep in my own bed again.
To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Organization Moving
We can authorize temporary accommodations until your furniture arrives, but we cannot force any hotel on the planet to accept your cats Fluffy, Tabby and Furball as guests.
Nor can we authorize restaurant meals for felines. We are sure Fluffy will recover from the trauma of eating off a paper plate on the floor. Alas, we don't have a Feline Therapy Unit, but Big Tony has offered to devote some quality one-on-one time to Fluffy's morale problem.
To: Customer Service, Organization Moving Corp.
From: Central Dispatch, Organization Moving Corp.
Who hired Driver Tom in the first place? When the Highway Patrol asks about funny-looking plants, our drivers are supposed to declare them as household geraniums, slightly wilted from travel trauma.
They are not supposed to say, "Gee, I dunno, but it sure looks like something from the sixties, don't it?"
After the entire van had been unloaded and inspected at the Oklahoma border, and all the dust analyzed, Tom just started driving east and didn't stop till he saw the ocean.
It's up to the PR suits to tell Maybelle Misfire what happened to her stuff.
To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Customer Service, Organization Moving
We are genuinely sorry about the delay associated with delivery of your household goods.
Believe me, our founders know all about life on the run.
We believe you will understand when we tell you that Driver Tom, one of our most experienced and dedicated professionals, halted his truck when he spied a cat caught in a tree on a freezing cold day. (OK, it was August, but he was in the mountains.)
Fortunately, ladders are standard equipment for Organization Movers. Driver Tom climbed the tree, rescued the cat and held its paw during surgery at the local veterinary hospital. After getting medical treatment for his own scratches, Tom climbed right back in his truck, but not before making sure that the cat would have a loving home with the veterinarian's assistant.
We're sure you would have done the same.
To: Maybelle Misfire
From: I. M. Power, VP
Welcome to your new job. For your first project, we want you to analyze the customer service of our newest client, our own Organization Movers.
Seems like they have a PR problem. Should be easy to fix.
On the other hand, you may have trouble getting primary data. Customers who complain tend to have forwarding addresses like, "Lost Gulch, New Mexico."
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., creates client-attracting marketing meessages for solo professionals who need to sell themselves but can't afford to sound sales-y.
http://www.copy-cat-copywriting.com/subscribe.htm
mailto:cathy@copy-cat-copywriting.com
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